Dating straight survival guide for dating a medical student

22-Feb-2018 17:24

Being with men is still part of my queer sexuality, but I’m re-negotiating my relationship to dating them.

Because I pretended to be straight for so many years, it’s important to me that my queerness does not get washed away by norms and assumptions of hetero-patriarchy.

It has taken me a long time to become comfortable with my sexuality.

I remember realizing my attraction to women as a young girl but not identifying as queer because I was also attracted to men.

It was easier for me to pretend to be straight than explain to my friends and family members that I’m attracted to people of my gender and other genders. At the end of the day, I am not straight and pretending to be straight was ultimately harmful to my confidence and self expression.

Since I’m on the receiving end of a lot of marginalization, identifying as both a woman of color and bisexual, I am leery of dating straight men after coming out.

Dating straight individuals used to feel like safety, but now it feels like wearing my queerness in disguise. I’m now surrounded by queer folks of color who embrace my identity as I learn to embrace it, too.

They affirm that my identity matters, and that bisexuality is real, despite what others may say.

I still fear others assuming that I’m straight when I am out with a straight male partner.

Mostly I did this because I did not believe that others would accept me, but also because I had not yet accepted myself.

I didn’t start to come out until college when I fell in love with a woman.

My queer brothers and sisters circle accepts me for who I am in all of my bi glory. I’m still figuring out how to date straight people while holding on to my queerness.

I’m still learning to brave tough conversations with people about queerness.

I still fear others assuming that I’m straight when I am out with a straight male partner.Mostly I did this because I did not believe that others would accept me, but also because I had not yet accepted myself.I didn’t start to come out until college when I fell in love with a woman.My queer brothers and sisters circle accepts me for who I am in all of my bi glory. I’m still figuring out how to date straight people while holding on to my queerness.I’m still learning to brave tough conversations with people about queerness.I was introduced to her friends as “my friend” (if I was introduced at all).